Top Ten Series: 4. How do I handle difficult or aggressive negotiators?

Negotiating with difficult or aggressive employers can feel like swimming with a shark—there’s a lot of teeth, and they’re all pointed in your direction. But don’t worry, with the right approach, you can navigate these choppy waters and come out the other side with all your limbs intact. The key strategies are your trusty underwater gear: staying calm, listening actively, showing respect, and maintaining a laser focus on your goals.

Staying calm is your oxygen tank. When you’re swimming with a shark—sorry, I mean negotiating with an aggressive person—the worst thing you can do is thrash around in panic. That just signals that you’re easy prey. Instead, take a deep breath, steady your nerves, and keep your cool. Imagine you’re in a cage, safe and sound. The shark might circle you, trying to provoke a reaction, but if you stay calm and composed, it’ll soon realize it’s not going to rattle you.

Active Listening: Think of it as your underwater sonar. Aggressive negotiators often try to dominate the conversation, but that doesn’t mean you should just float there and take it. Listen carefully to what they’re really saying. Beneath the surface bluster, there might be some genuine concerns or motivations driving their behavior. By tuning in and understanding these, you can steer the negotiation in a more productive direction. Plus, it’s a great way to show the shark—your employer—that you’re not just a passive swimmer; you’re actively navigating these waters.

Showing respect is your secret weapon—a bit like chum, but in a good way. It might seem counterintuitive to be polite to someone who’s circling you with bared teeth, but respect is disarming. Instead of mirroring their aggression, maintain your professionalism. This isn’t about playing nice; it’s about showing that you’re not easily intimidated. When you treat the other party with respect, they might just decide to back off the aggressive tactics and engage more constructively.

Focus on your goals like they’re the distant shore. Sharks will try to distract you, drag you off course, or pressure you into making concessions that don’t align with what you want. Keep your eyes on the prize and steer the conversation back to your objectives whenever it starts to drift. This way, you won’t get pulled into the depths but will stay on course and eventually reach your destination.

Navigate the shark infested waters of your next negotiation like an expert diver. Stay calm, listen actively, show respect, and keep focused on your goals, and you’ll be able to swim through even the toughest negotiations without getting bitten. Just remember, in the sea of negotiations, you’re not the prey—you’re a confident swimmer with a plan.

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