Top Ten Series: 6. How can I build rapport with the other party?
- Harsha Bandara
- Sep 14, 2024
- 2 min read
Updated: Oct 15, 2024

Building rapport in a negotiation is like planting a garden. To cultivate a flourishing relationship and achieve a bountiful outcome, you need to focus on four key elements: finding common ground, engaging in active listening, showing empathy, and expressing gratitude.
Finding common ground is like choosing the right soil for your garden. Just as the soil provides the foundation for healthy plant growth, identifying shared interests or goals lays the groundwork for a strong relationship. Whether it’s a mutual vision for success or similar values, discovering this common foundation ensures that both parties are starting from a place of alignment, making the negotiation process more fertile for productive discussions.
Engaging in active listening is akin to watering your plants with the right amount of care. Active listening involves fully concentrating on what the other party is saying, understanding their points, and responding thoughtfully. Just as plants need regular watering to thrive, active listening demonstrates that you are genuinely interested in the other party’s perspective and helps nourish the relationship. It ensures that communication remains vibrant and effective.
Showing empathy is like providing the necessary nutrients for your garden. Empathy involves recognizing and validating the other party’s feelings and concerns, much like ensuring your plants receive the right nutrients to grow. If the other party expresses worries or challenges, acknowledging these emotions and showing understanding helps to build trust and strengthen the relationship. It’s about making sure that each party feels supported and valued, which is essential for cultivating a positive negotiation environment.
Expressing gratitude is like harvesting the fruits of your labor. Acknowledging the other party’s time, effort, and willingness to negotiate shows appreciation and reinforces a positive atmosphere. Just as harvesting and enjoying the fruits of a well-tended garden brings satisfaction and joy, expressing gratitude helps to cement a positive rapport and leaves everyone feeling respected and valued.
Building rapport in a negotiation is like planting and nurturing a garden: find common ground, engage in active listening, show empathy, and express gratitude. By tending to these elements, you’ll cultivate a thriving relationship and achieve a fruitful and successful outcome.
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Mark Phebus, Director of Optometric Consulting
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